It is pitch dark. There are voices around. Someone is calling your name. You find a distant call of cry from far behind you. The noises become more and more pronounced every time you take a step ahead. Your head starts swimming. A very sharp light from across the room pierces through your eyes. You fall down. Your heart rate soars. Your breathing increases. You start panting.
….and you get up with a jolt.
You realise that you are on your bed, all anxious from the dream you just witnessed. You think, no – you believe, that everything written above did really happen to you. You rub your eyes and thank god that you are still alive and all is well with you. Flashes of your loved ones start rolling. And you just want to breathe normally.
You are still breathing. You are alive.
But are you really?
For most of you its TGIF (Thank God, it’s Friday) – but how many times are you thankful for staying alive?
Just breathing is not living.
No matter what comes into your life, even if you achieve the highest position you aspire to, if you take it for granted, it will not just weaken but vanish after some time. This will not just be happening to you, but to other people around you as well.
Look around you – the chirping birds, the mesmerizing sunrise, the green covers around you, and the food that you eat, the water that you drink. Do you still take out time to notice them? Are you able to experience the bounty of what life is offering to you at that very moment? Are you thankful for the beauty surrounding you? Are you truly enjoying them?
We are sure, that you have your own aspirations. You are working really hard for reaching that coveted position, to be worthy of it. But is this all that is to be spoken about you and your life? Isn’t it a terrible thing to do with your own lives – stopping oneself from staying alive, stopping oneself from enjoying the small joys if life?
Keep down the paper and pen. Open that window and breathe the air that seeps in. Touch those green leaves. Smell the flowers. Open your shoes and sandals, and take a stroll in a garden.
Jump! Try to touch the sky. And smile even when you cannot.
This phase in your life is not burdensome or tiring. C’mon, you have decided on something and you are working hard towards it. Just like a teacher who is working hard towards making sure that every student in the class learns well. Just like a manager who is working hard towards managing the expectations of his/her team mates and still delivering all the tasks assigned to him/her. Just like a musician who works hard to take inspiration from everything around him and creates music for the entire world to listen to. Just like them, you are working hard towards being able to serve people around you.
So, do not succumb to the whole jazz that people create around the civil services preparation. Everyone is working hard towards their goals. You are too.
Just take a deep breath and let go of the unnecessary expectations and pressures you are putting yourself up with. Being alive to everything in existence is your only business. If you stay really alive to everything, you will know the beauty of life, the beauty of this phase of preparation.
But if you think that being under pressure and stressed out is more important than being alive, failure will come. You may not be dead medically, but dead to everything around you.
Death is going to come anyway – why hurry it up?
Time to get back to life, dear aspirants!
Your friend, philosopher and guide – IASbaba