1. Emotional intelligence is more about managing your emotions than controlling it. Elucidate.

  • Da Vinci

    Emotional Intelligence mean managing one’s emotions intelligently. It involves understanding one’s own emotion as well as emotions of others and managing them for the benefits of oneself and others.

    It is neither about suppressing the emotions all together nor it is about showing emotional excess. Rather it is about optimal utilisation of emotions for the benefit of oneself and for others.

    For ex. – if a person sees an children begging for food. He then must not be indifferent and must not suppress his feeling of compassion and empathy towards the child. Rather by managing his emotions well, he must help the child in getting food.

    Hence, Emotional intelligence calls for understanding and managing of emotions optimally rather than controlling it.

  • Ghalib

    In old times, emotions were linked closely to negativity. There was an understanding that a person with emotions will not be able to think rationally and will result into making wrong choices or actions. Even one of the ancient thinker believed that bureaucracy should work completely on logics and should have precisions like machines and there is no place of emotions in it.

    Fortunately, we understood that emotions are here to stay. No one can completely become “emotion less”. Rather it is not always negative in nature. Patriotic emotions can help soldier in performing well. Hence, the emotional intelligence came in picture, which emphasise basically on managing emotions instead of controlling emotions. Emotional intelligence helps a person in self realisation, self evaluation, empathy, social interference etc. Emotional intelligence helps any person in managing his emotions in productive way. We can take example of M. K. Gandhi, who intelligently managed emotions of himself and of the masses of India to mobilise the energy of common people to achieve freedom from British rule.

    • bhawana

      First and half of the second are more about importance of emotion. Later half is good. You can write better Ghalib :))

      • Ghalib

        Thanks @bhawanachangoiwala:disqus for the review 🙂 Today was not my day!!
        Keep writing and reviewing.

    • Axi Tak

      I liked the answer but the problem is you didn’t explain the difference between control and manage emotions like control is when you try to stop a certain emotion but emotional intelligence is about managing you emotions. That what the corporate did was managing his emotions to get the job done so you can give an example vice a versa that the person would completely control what he is feeling and act opposite of it. That is controlling emotions. For example if a person feels very angry but takes no action and controls it on other hand there is a person with high EQ who will write a letter or explain in a certain way and manage his emotions to achieve something fruitful without completing stopping to feel it.
      for example, a minority comes and explains you about some problem they are facing in the village, a person who controls his emotions will be feeling sad and empathized towards them but he will choose not to react in any way but a person with high EI will think about it, analyze their problem (not sit and cry) but try to find a fruitful solution for them so that everyone is happy. Kind of like a mutual bond is developed between them.

      • AJAY SINGH

        u r right Axi. I gave only one perspective. I should have given one more example.
        actually there was one in my mind but I could not find a way to fit it in the answer.
        ex – a civil service aspirant like me is fed up of the loudspeakers in the near temple or mosque (it starts before 0600hrs and continues to late night). one way is to talk to the priest or the mullah to make them understand my situation and request them to reduce the volume level. other way is to complaint to authorities and accuse them of causing noise pollution. second way may cause riot like situation in the vicinity. so in order to manage my emotions, I will talk to them directly and in order to control, I will complain to the authorities.
        ethics is all about u and ur perspective. no answer is perfect.
        so keep writing and reviewing and also encouraging
        thanks for detailed review

  • Arjun
    • bhawana

      Good to write quotation but hard to remember one during actual exam time. Categorization is nice but then examples should be with main heading only. First example is good but second can be improved. As ethics questions are open ended they have not a clear benchmark ..

      my views are…
      Emotions are flow of ideas and are hard to manage as they are not physical assets. But sometimes we have to orient them according to the situations to fulfill some past commitments and future ambitions. But this surely doesn’t mean to control them as controlling would be STIFLING that is not desired in any condition.

      Emotional intelligence is a quite new concept and is unanimously considered as a TRAIT of human behavior. Greater a person has hold on his/her emotions better he/she manages his life after all it is all about management.

      Like a hangman inspite of having an general emotion of non-violence and empathy has to perform his duty while managing his emotions. A civil service aspirant preparing for UPSC has to manage his emotions to prevent any kind of distractions. But this necessary doesn’t mean they have controlled them as in other AREAS and at a different TIME they can pursue their emotions quite well because this management is a balance between a situation and a particular emotion

      Managing is balancing and controlling is suppressing of an emotion that can have back firing effect.

      • Arjun

        Thanks 4 de elaborate review.

    • PBN

      After long time..
      Content is good..
      But presentation needs improvement..
      Subheadings are poor..we cant really differentiate states of el..
      And try to weave the examples within analysis..

      • Arjun

        Good suggestions pbn.

  • Axi Tak
    • Valyrian Steel

      Axi , you over described the things in various places ,the definition of emotional intelligence is not clearly worded although you made it clear when you wrote “in other words” 🙂 ,
      “Intelligence to control your emotions” – this phrase is contradictory to your previous stand , ” to channelise the emotions ” would be a better expression.
      Describing the things more than what is actually required is the one fault I found in your writing.

      • Axi Tak

        thanks, yes even i read it too late. I flowed with words just forgot completely that I made a contradictory statement.

      • Axi Tak

        Thanks Valyrian steel but the first para is defining emotions, second intelligence and third para explains and gives complete definition of emotional intelligence.

      • Axi Tak

        You are right, I will try to be precise. I am trying to learn how to be precise and “to channelize the emotions.” is a prefect expression what i wanted to write.Thanks for reviewing. Keep reviewing its huge help.

  • Valar dohaeris

    A human being is blessed with ability to express itself with a wide variety of emotions. And each being’s character is defined by this form of emotional expression. An emotionally intelligent person isn’t the one capable of controlling the emotions so much but by actually managing the way he expresses them. Different situations demand different reactions from a person and appropriate emotion should be then brought out.
    For eg- for an officer working as a city administrator may come many situations where people to get their work done try to coerce him into taking decisions using influence- an emotionally intelligent officer will only take decisions based on objectivity and need, not because of fear.
    Whereas, if the same officer decides to get angry and show-off his powers instead of being assertive about doing his duties, that sort of behavior can land him into trouble as well.

    Managing emotions also doesn’t mean suppressing them for fear of adverse reaction, but acknowledging what one feels from within and know if the time and place is right for expressing that feeling as such.

    JYO0106- 180 words

  • MOL0929
  • Learner…

    Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to understand emotions of self and others as well and utilizing them effectively for mutual benefit.

    While trying to control one’s emotions the person is more of struggling with the situation and self, where as managing emotions is about regulating them as per the priority of the situation’s demands.

    For instance if public servant belonging to SC/ST faces a situation of an anti-reservation protest which has the potential of turning into aggrieved and rebel mass also. The protesting crowd starts abusing him/her for the belonging caste. Now if the person tries to control the emotions the probability is high of losing the temper and reacting in an unfavorable manner, the outcome can be more adverse.

    On the other hand if emotions are managed instead one will be able to think rationally and with a calm mind to tackle such sensitive challenge and avoiding and mishap through emotional intelligence.

    • Learner…

      I guess I clubbed today’s 1st and 2nd questions. – _ –

  • PD
    • Sonia Sharma


  • PBN
    • Kartik

      Good answer pbn and nice examples . However you could have elucidated more on the difference between management and control of emotions which is what the question demands in my opinion. ATB KW 🙂

      • PBN

        I tried to deal with it through example only..
        Will see how can I add few more things.

  • Kartik
  • Fara dar
    • Gurpreet Singh

      Nice use of examples. You can add better understanding of ones own emotions under intro.
      Keep writing. Please review mine if possible.

  • Gurpreet Singh

      The piecemeal approach to treat emotion and intelligence is very elaborate, can be cut shorter… as question is elucidate so statement needs furthering with examples.. third para is very to the point and good… hope it helps..

  • shobhit sharad

    Emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of,control,and express one’s emotions,and to handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. “Emotional intelligence is the key to both personal and professional success”. Emotional intelligence is more about managaing your emotions than controlling it—–●Self-Awareness–Skill of being aware of and understanding emotions as they occur and evolve.Next step should be of self-assessment and knowing emotions as appropriate and inappropriate .After knowing appropriate and inappropriate we could easily identify our strength and weaknesses which in turn induce self-confidence.●Self-Regulation-It relates to self-control of emotions and adapting,Invoating and finally managing to regulate our emotions under given circumstances.●Motivation-This step will help us to use emotional intelligence in pursuance of our goals,propels us to take initiative with optimism and resillience.

    • Sonia Sharma

      not satisfactory answer

      • Sonia when you review peer answers also tell them whats unsatisfactory about their answer. 😛

        • Sonia Sharma


  • ironman
  • Disha
  • gd

    Emotions make us more humane and instead of blatantly controlling them, it would be prudent to manage them. Managing emotions brings the required equilibrium in our mental disposition through enhanced emotional intelligence in our mental disposition, affecting both personal and professional relations and life.
    When Chanakya faced humiliation in the court of King Dhananand, he managed it by meticulously planning his defeat through Chandragupta Maurya, thereby fulfilling his revenge and also ending anarchy in the kingdom.
    Similarly, unlike the ideology of violence and hatred against British prevalent in the minds of Indians, Gandhiji channelized the anger within the masses through Ahimsa, Satyagraha and Constructive works to build the nation on firm foundations of morality.
    In everyday context, there are numerous instances:
    1. Road rage: instead of fighting and coming to blows, anger must be managed through law.
    2. Divorce: when people separate, they go through all sorts of feelings, from the urge to commit murder to suicide, instead of mudslinging and hatred, it is better to manage emotions and move on positively in life.
    3. Depression: it is important to be self aware, mange depression through discussion and friends by knowing its root cause rather than giving in to suicidal tendencies.
    4. Workplace: jealousy can be channelized through competitive spirit and team work.
    5. Internet trolls: unpleasant comments and moral policing are managed through befitting replies.
    Emotional intelligence is all about managing the head and the heart simultaneously.

    • A definition of emotional intelligence should have been given.
      Overall a very good answer. Very relevant current and historical examples.

  • yuyutsu-curious to fight
    • Sweet_Halwa

      Bro answer is good, but you should give example.

      • yuyutsu-curious to fight

        Thanks @Sweet_halwa:disqus for reviewing my answer.

    • very nicely enunciated answer. Emotional intelligence is nicely explained. but a contrast should have been made between controlling and managing emotions. A real life example is missing.

      • yuyutsu-curious to fight

        thanks baba ji….your review alwz motivate us and added a new dimension to make our ans ideal. Thanks again…

  • V Kumar

    Emotions are part of Human nature. Love, anger, passion, aggression, etc are common emotions. They have crucial importance in human life. We should not control them but learn to manage them because

    Emotions like love plays very important role in bonding with human and society. It is base for human relations. It should not be excess to hamper our purpose and goal. Like A child love her mother so much that he is not ready to leave home for study. Though, it will help mother and society but excessive emotion are hampering the study and so need to manage by mind from both side.

    Emotion like passion could be base for success in UPSC and could also be detrimental for some if directed in wrong direction. People should have passion of honesty for public service or for positive change in society. However, If passion is for drinking and smooching then society and individual will only loose.

    So emotions have positive and negatives. If we learn to control emotions means we are not utilizing our emotions in right direction. If we manage them by giving right direction it will help us to reach our aim.

    • The question was not one emotions but emotional intelligence. Read the concept nicely its an important topic.

      • V Kumar

        correct babaji .. i myself realised in second reading that i never used term emotional intelligence in my answer.

  • Putta

    Every human being is driven by emotions which are influenced by thoughts and hormonal activates. He also has the ability to manage emotions unlike other animals. The person who manages his emotions better will have better chances of coming over all problems.

    Managing emotions keeps the person unwaveringly moving towards his goals.
    Ex: One of India’s greatest cricket captain M S Dhoni, during extreme pressure match , rather than showing and transferring pressure on other team members, keeps his cool and motivate players to fight till the end which makes team members to give their best and many time produced great victories.

    Another example can be student who is preparing for the exam. There will be many diverting subjects for student which creates extreme stress like fear of failure, negative talks from friends regarding success etc. If student manages to overcome/ignore all these without getting diverted and focus on thorough preparation he will succeed in the exam. Trying to responds to negative talks would rather divert the attention from preparation.

    Knowing priorities better and focusing on goals helps to manage our emotions better. One who manages people succeeds better rather than one who tries to control/command them. Better managing ability comes with one who better manages his emotions.

    • Putta

      Babaji pls review. This one subject every question we understand in first go but cant put down the points easily!

    • Ashish Dahiya

      Gud ans with NYC examples

      • Putta

        Thanks for the review Ashish. KWAR. All the best.

    • Putta.. The answer is good and good examples. You should have made a contrast between controlling and managing because that is what was asked.
      Also you should have first explained what emotional intelligence is. Always define the key word first in Ethics question.

      • Putta

        Sure babaji. I will make corrections in my next answers. Thanks a lot for the feedback 🙂

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